Hope

It is hard to weak up some mornings. My head is full with wrong ideas about my future, I loss all hopes and start to crying. Weak up without any clarity of your future, just uncertainly, it is hard.

I think these kind of thoughts make me behave so stupid. I am afraid that I am no living enough this experience, that I am missing details, and my head start to rush me, I have to move, I cannot be in any place because I feel that I should be in other, that my time is running up. I had some conversation without sense, and rushed people around me. 

    

In this race, I felt apart. I start to cry and I could not stop for a whole day, next day I was in the same mood, by the third day I had to change my attitude. This day, was today.

What happen today? I do not know if it was the candle that I turn on in George Church on thankful to God for everything, that make me feel good, in calm, but I have hopes again.

I cannot quite trying to stay here for a year, before my time run up. I cannot forget that I have made a lot with a few, and that I can continue doing it. I cannot forget who I am, and put all my passion in other bet for my future.

I did not win the first scholarship that I was applying, I did not win the second scholarship, the third I will win it.